CCE

Today is Fathers Day. When it would in the past have been a day of negativity, today was not. In thinking about it, I remembered how I used to treat fathers day; as something negative but in trying to make it better, more focused on my mother. She had filled the role of both parents when I was growing up and better than any father figure I was ever going to have. Now may not be the most verbal of times but I'm going to take today to recognize the sacrifices my mother made for me and all of my sisters. Happy Day - this one's for you Mom. (PS, I love you.)

Aut Viam Inveniam Aut Faciam

Feelings change. It's a fact of life. They may get stronger, weaker, or end up swinging in the completely opposite direction, whatever the case my be. It is hard to realize that feelings have changed, though, when the mind and heart still retain memories from when you feelings once were. Say you love someone but due to distance, times, and circumstance, you no longer feel that way. You don't hate this person, you just don't feel the love you did when you were with them. Perhaps the circumstance has made it so you have to place distance between yourself and this person. Because of this it is even harder to understand the feelings you have. Why now do you feel a little bit empty? Why now do you feel fear where there was once excitement? Why can you not wrap your head around the fact that as much as you do not like it, this relationship may be healthier than the one you had before? Why can you not understand that things are better this way, or at least that the end result will be? Why does it still hurt some days and other days feel like liberation at last? Feelings, once so easy to decipher and unwaivering, are not so much anymore. It's something tricky to understand and even more difficult to interpret and accept. I guess every journey of a thousand miles starts with just one step. Here is my one (first) step.