To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.

I am quite annoyed at life... again. I just wish that either I could have a good run of time (more than just a few weeks) where things go well for and around me or I could learn to cope better. I used to pride myself at being able to keep my emotions in check. Unfortunately, I don't feel like that anymore. It may just be that things have gotten way too out of control for my liking and my body is no longer able to physically deal with it. I'm still pretty good at fooling those around me. By that I mean, not letting people see into how I am really feeling. I guess, if we're going to dissect it I am, in essence, lying. Yes, I know, the one thing that I hate, but the only person getting hurt in the process is myself. I see no reason to let everyone around me know the intimate details of my life. The very few that do earn enough trust to be admitted to my inner circle, end up knowing more than anyone else. Admittedly, there is not one person, blood relation or not, that knows everything. In trusting others, you open yourself up, take down some walls, and give another the power to hurt you. That's the definition of trust, though - giving someone the power to damage you, but believing that they will not. Obviously, this is why it hurts so much when someone betrays that trust. Now look at me... There are very, very few people that I let know ANYTHING personal about me; most of the time everything those around me know is the superficial goings-on that any schmo could pick up on. The people who do earn my trust are few and far between and those that I give the title of best to can be counted on one hand. Unfortunately for me, the majority of the people that earn my trust, end up breaking and eventually losing that trust. Today I had to think long and hard about that... why do we trust in the first place? Is the pain of having a bond of trust broken worth even attempting trust? But such is life, and life is a test. All I can really be thankful for is the insight I get from such negative events in my life. All I can do is all I can do and if that's not good enough, so be it.